May 2013
urinatings:
*peels carrot* you know, i never really believed in the economy
irresponsibleeyouth:
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
galaxys4:
hello students. welcome to my math class. we will be having a class trip this year, the first ever math field trip in history. it’s to hell. here we are
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
inbox:
is hitting children with your car considered bullying
Feel old?
Shrek 1: Came out 12 years ago
Monsters Inc: Came out 12 years ago
Dylan and Cole Sprouse: 21 years old
Hillary Duff: Mom
That's so Raven: Been off TV for 7 years
Lizzie McGuire: Ended 10 years ago
hipsterinatardis:
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
liarnjamespayne:
in 5th grade they made my class do a seminar thing on drugs and we had to sign an anti-drug pledge and afterwards they gave us these really fancy certificates declaring that we would be drug free forever and i ended up rolling a joint with mine in freshman year so there u go
lumos5000:
theshirelock:
if artistic people are forced to take years of math and science then why don’t sciencey people have to take art and music classes
someone found a real life plot hole
chanandlerb0ng:
“hey sorry i was busy” kidding i was watching my fave tv show and u interrupted rude
royalteens:
i swear i’d dress better but i’m poor and fat
tuucker:
irisowl:
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK...
googlehomie:
ahh school… *inhales deeply* the sweet smell of a flawed education system and high stress levels
lynzave:
my brother yelled “HOLLA” at me and he was like “you’re supposed to say holla back” and I immediately replied “I ain’t no holla back girl” and it’s an hour later and I’m still laughing
worldaccordingtofangirls:
i am so jealous of europeans
three hours of travel and they’re in a whole different country, a whole different culture like seriously
three hours of travel and i’m in another town that’s just like mine
except three hours away
So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I...
e-zekiel:
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and another
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu...
jawnsolo:
ninjawear:
howtodresswell:
would u punch a kid for $500,000
shit I’ll do it for $10
i’ll give you $10 to let me punch a kid
malijuanastyles:
All I do at school is watch all the girls pretend to be friends with each other
thatfunnyblog:
i dont understand people who only sleep with one pillow
